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I definitely feel like I handled it okay, but I wanted to share w/ other yoga teachers and get some insight....
Last night I was teaching my restorative yoga series and one of my students (who has been coming to my classes for 3 years and has done privates w/ me) was definitely not in a good place. I could sense it when she first came in. We were all getting into chair supported shoulderstand and something happened. She's been dealing a lot with more physical ailments--bunions, back and shoulder issues/pain--these days. So, of course, I had my back turned to her as I was assisting someone else and then I found her on the floor, sitting and crying holding her foot. all I did was go over to her and put my hand on her back and asked what's coming up. I was very discrete b/c I didn't want to draw attention on her. She said it was the bunions in her foot. I then said there must be a lot going on. But she kept directing it to her foot. I suggested she do viparita karani (legs up the wall). she stayed for about 2 min and then kindly told me she wanted to go home. I didn't argue, of course, since it was right in the middle of the class and I shouldn't ignore my other students and it was what she wanted to do.
My heart goes out to people when things like that happen in yoga class (or anywhere or that matter) because I've been there. things get so overwhelming at times, it's totally okay to cry, but I know it's hard for some and they may get embarrassed or scared. Emotions are our body's alarm system. They tell us that something's going on within ourselves. We get triggered by things all the time and may or may not be consciously aware of it. When you're not, you feel like shit.
I'm going to call my student later today and just check in with her.
Thanks for letting me share,
-Liz
Last night I was teaching my restorative yoga series and one of my students (who has been coming to my classes for 3 years and has done privates w/ me) was definitely not in a good place. I could sense it when she first came in. We were all getting into chair supported shoulderstand and something happened. She's been dealing a lot with more physical ailments--bunions, back and shoulder issues/pain--these days. So, of course, I had my back turned to her as I was assisting someone else and then I found her on the floor, sitting and crying holding her foot. all I did was go over to her and put my hand on her back and asked what's coming up. I was very discrete b/c I didn't want to draw attention on her. She said it was the bunions in her foot. I then said there must be a lot going on. But she kept directing it to her foot. I suggested she do viparita karani (legs up the wall). she stayed for about 2 min and then kindly told me she wanted to go home. I didn't argue, of course, since it was right in the middle of the class and I shouldn't ignore my other students and it was what she wanted to do.
My heart goes out to people when things like that happen in yoga class (or anywhere or that matter) because I've been there. things get so overwhelming at times, it's totally okay to cry, but I know it's hard for some and they may get embarrassed or scared. Emotions are our body's alarm system. They tell us that something's going on within ourselves. We get triggered by things all the time and may or may not be consciously aware of it. When you're not, you feel like shit.
I'm going to call my student later today and just check in with her.
Thanks for letting me share,
-Liz
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Re: Crying student
Tue, December 23, 2008 - 11:16 AMsounds like you did just fine.
I would almost recommend against calling her. You are not a therapist or a physical therapist.
Pain in the holiday time happens and si intensified with issues around feeling helpless and alone and in pain.
She came to class as she was.. likely getting ready for a shoulder stand did not injure it. Likely being quiet and allowing body feelings to be attended to made the pain intensify. Legs up the wall would have been helpful, as well as really dealing with diet and changing footwear which ar elong term solutions.
You might call offering friendship, BUT set the yoga teacher mantle aside.
i am interested in hearing what others say. -
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Re: Crying student
Tue, December 23, 2008 - 12:53 PMi did not make my best sense here and I am not sure exactly words to use..
buty by calling her, you may open a door of dependence when you may not wish to do so.
This may be unlikely.. BUT I am intuitive and something here rung on that level.
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Re: Crying student
Tue, December 23, 2008 - 12:09 PMLiz - My take on it is that it's kind and considerate to give your student a call. You already have a more intimate relationship with her due to having done private classes with you) and she was clearly upset in your class. Calling to check she's okay now is a lovely thing to do during what can be a difficult period for many people - sometimes a little gesture can make a big difference. There's no need for you to take on the role of therapist with her when you call and I don't see a simple act of kindness and consideration as doing that. I'd say it's the kind of thing that really depends on context and the people involved so it's not something I'd consider there to be a need of hard or fast rules about - others may disagree, of course. -
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Re: Crying student
Tue, December 23, 2008 - 4:07 PMThanks Fifi and Cathy for your insight!
I definitely have gone back and forth about calling her. I could email, but I think it's too impersonal, considering our relationship. I mean, I've gone out to dinner after class with her and my regular students (we all split the meal), so I feel that there's a nice sense of community already there. I guess my call would just be a little "I hope you're feeling better today" call.
Thanks again! -
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Re: Crying student
Wed, December 24, 2008 - 8:18 AMLiz - Always a pleasure to share and discuss these kinds of things - appropriate student/teacher and personal boundaries aren't always obvious! Sounds like you're taking a sensitive and sensible approach - showing caring but not imposing yourself on the person, not bringing up an "issue" or implicating yourself in their personal life but also reminding them they're part of a community that they can return to without embarrassment for being human and having a bit of a public breakdown. Giving people permission to be human can be a very powerful gift (by this I don't mean indulging people who are being dramatic to get attention but someone who's just going through a hard time and having a bad period). Kindness can be a very rare commodity in our world :-) -
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Re: Crying student
Wed, December 24, 2008 - 8:26 AMsounds good how did it go?
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